i would like to just start this post off by letting you know what is going on around me. i am currently in my room listening to my parents and their friends conversation as they eat churros and hot chocolate and my mom makes sopapillas. meanwhile shakira is singing beautifully in the background. only in chile. i love my life.

so im not sure where to start. my real familia was here last week, which was great and stressful and strange all at the same time. i went to meet them REALLY early wed morning in santiago. i waited forever but then finally saw them on the screen u have to watch to see where people will come out and ran to go meet them. it was probably one of the best moments of my life. i might have cried. haha. but honestly, i didnt know how much i needed them til i didnt have them or how much i missed them until i was hugged. THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A HUG FROM YOU MOTHER. or your best friend for that matter. idk when chile turned me into a little sappy family lover, but whatevs, i appreciate what i have now so i guess thats what matters.

anyways so we hopped on a shuttle to the bus station and then on a bus to vina. but did i mention they brought 9 bags. 9! i said one per person tops.... so anyways it was slightly difficult to do all this, but we managed. then we got to vina and made the wonderful 25 min walk with 9 bags to their hotel. haha that was an experience and the first fight..within hours. hah o well. so then we go to to the hotel, after some problems we decided to stay. we went to lunch and they had their first true empanadas then we just walked a little bit to see vina. it was so weird showing them things that were so part of my life that they had no idea about. but also everything was harder than i expected, i forgot i would have to explian the menus and every sign and well everything.

but then my familia de verdad met my host family. AMAZING. i should start off by saying that both my sets of parents are the same. my moms (hah strange) both clean too much, give u orders all the time for everything and have their way of doing things. they are both loud and crazy. and my dads are both just way too laid back. so they met and it was this insane confusing translating fiesta. but they hit it off seriously right away. my host dad knows quite a bit of english and my real mom was really good at picking up what they were trying to say so that helped, but mostly it was me trying to translate everything. so we ate dinner and it all went really well. i love love loved having them all together.

so then thurs we just walked around other parts of vina and had lunch and i went to class. then we went to see the sunset, it was a good one, not the best, but i was glad they got to see it, its so pretty with the port and the city lights and the ocean obviously. and then we just chilled that night i think. friday was a really gross day and it rained and flooded. me mom and chels went to pilates and were soaked by the time we got home. then we went on a driving tour of all vina, valpo, con con, and renaca, the cities by me, it was bad weather so u couldnt see much of how pretty the road along the coast is, we also went and got hot chocolate with my dad and cake in valpo on cerro alegre, which is so pretty. then sat we went to the antique, produce and flea market outside in valpo. that was cool and we walked around lots of valpo and saw the plazas and different places on teh flat part. then we went to quintay with my host family. its a small fishing pueblo about an hour away. it is a beautiful drive up the hills of vina and then through the forest to the coast to this really secluded little area. we went to an old abandoned whaling factory. it was so cool and creepy. we saw where they would drag the whales up and do all the gross stuff and collect their oil and blood and skin and all that. it also had a cool place to climb up and look out at the bay and had a cute little lighthouse. so we walked all around there and saw a beautiful sunset. it was honestly one of the best things ive ever done. the place was gorgeous, jus the calm secluded rocky bay and my two families with me in the place i love getting along so well....i got emotional again. fml. (cucha mi vida cmv.) but anyways then we had an interesting dinner overlooking the bay. we tried 2 seafood things, but i have no idea what they were. one was a pink slimy thing with a parmasean sauce, that was good except its texture and then we had something called loco... it actually wasnt bad but had little flavor, i have no idea what it is tho. then we went home and relaxed in the hotel. then sun we had family fathers day celebration. we had a lunch for like 5 hours haa. it was soo entertaining my grandparents were there too and my other brother and his daughter. it was alot of work translating but i was so happy i could and it was just a really great time. my grandparents especially were so funny, my gpa got so into things he even knocked over his wine, i guess u had to be there but it was soo funny. and then we went on another tour of places with my dad, but where u could actually see things hah, so we went all along the coast. um so then mon i went to class most all day and then that night we went to color cafe in valpo on cerro conception with my friend nick and his real family and some other gringas. that was fun and awkward, my friends meeting my family. but my fam got to ride the elevator up the hill and dee my favorite view of the cities so it was good. then tues i went to class and took a final and then went to the feria and then to my host house for a goodbye dinner. my real fam got presents that were great and we had another great meal together. somehow they always go so fast and we were there for hours after thinking it was going to be a quick hour ish thing. so then wed we went to santiago. we got there later in the afternoon to our really nice hotel after stuffing ourselves and all the luggage into a taxi. we had lunch there and hten i showed them the centro of santiago an d the feria and some of the places i like. then we went back to the hotel and went to a weird buffet thing but with really good music for the rest of the night. then thurs we went to cerro cristobal and the metropolitan park to see the huge mary and ride the big ascensor. then we also went to santa lucia, the park built above the city on a hill and then me mom and chels got massages and then we went to the airport. on the way there also is when i found out michael jackson died by hearing "se murio michael jackson?!"i mean honestly, if there is anyway to find out, its in spanish. so then we said goodbye, which was easier than i thought becasue ill see them in a few weeks. but at the same time still felt weird and like i was alone in south america again hah.

anyways then i came home and had din with the host family and then went out to huevo (a 5 story club) with maggie kathleen vane and the soccer boys. it was really fun, we went to go see a red hot chili peppers cover band, but ended up only seeing the last song cause we went upstairs to dance. it was a really fun night. then friday i went to excercise classes that eneded up being cancelled because of a busted water pipe which then caused me to be on the micro home for an hour. um so then i went to my friend sams house b4 our goodbye dinner, we just hung out a bit and then went to renaca for the dinner. i wish i could say it was a great moving experience, but honestly it was just like any other dinner, we were kinda seperated into our usual groups and there wasnt much togetherness or any big goodbyes. but the food was good. and then we went to cafe journal afterwards for a bit and just hung out. then sat i went to the ex carcel with some friends. it is just an old jail turned into a cultural center (it just stopped being a jail in 1999). it has so much graffitti and is just so cool to see it all abandoned but turned into such a positive space after being a place of such negativity. then we found out that there was a circus show that night outside there with trapeze and acrobats and water and fire effects and all kinds of stuff, so we decided we would go back. then we went to the cemetary that was next to the ex carcel which is cool cause all the cemetaries here are abouve ground and like little cities. they have so many mosuleums and it is set up like cities meaning the rich families together and the poor seperate in littler places. also they segregate it in terms of race, like the italian or spanish fams together, its so interesting. so then we went to get empanadas which was fun and then after we went to the sand dunes to watch the sunset which actually wasnt as great as usual cause it was so cold and hte wind was making the sand hit us alot. um but then i went home for a bit and we were going to go to the circus show, but it started raining as we were walking there and so we figured it was cancelled so we went to cafe juglar close to home for a bit instead. that was fun, it was just sam maggie alex and i and it was good convo. then it was pouring and my street was a river, so i got SOAKED running home. good times. then sun i relaxed in the day cause it was gross and then went to an asado (bbq) at the soccer boys apartment. man what i night that turned into. we werent really wanting to go or stay long and i def was there til 7 am this morning....it was a great night. we just played drinking and card games, estabamos volando talked, sang, cooked, idk it was great. the boys are so nice and i wish we had met them earlier, they arent like other boys who just want to be ur friend cause u are a gringa or try to hook up with u, they never try anything, they just want to have fun and are so laid back and funny. it was just a great night and im so glad i met really great chilean friends.

so then today, was a very interesting day. i woke up after 5 hours of sleep to my family moving around all the furniture in teh room above me. then we ate really quick...which i did not want to do...and then went to a celebration of san pedro, the patron saint of fishermen and valpo because today is his holiday. so i didnt know what i was getting into. turns out it means that u go on a bay tour of the cities. meaning you go with lots of other people onto lots of small boats for a few hours around the bay. wow could there have been a worse day. so who wakes up naseous not just from drinking WAY too much but also from getting my period. awesome, so there i am sitting on the boat rocking back and forth feeling faint from period, dehydrated as fuck, horrible cramps and also about to puke. also i would like to mention that we were supposed to experience an earthquake last night that would be followed by a tsunami...on the water i was then sitting in. great. yet it was still one of the best experiences ive had here, just spending the day with my family, seeing all the people gather again, looking at the cities by boat and the port and huge other ships, like naval ones and the ones with all the train things, from up close. and being on the water which is just one of my favorite things ever. it was just such an unsuspected day and was great. then we went to the grocery store and met up randomly with some family friends (who i mentioned at the beginning of this) and they came over. i left in the middle of writing this to go have hot choc chorros and sugar covered sopapillas with them. so thats that. and now i have to do hw (my final final project!) which im avoiding.

i would like to just throw in here too that i have been close to the most confused i have ever been in my life here. for lots of different things i should definitely be past by now but am not, but mostly for leaving here. i have been so so homesick. like so ready to say fuck it im leaving early, i need what i know, i need english, i need my other friends. but then when i think of leaving here i just want to ball. i cant imagine not seeing my family here everyday, or losing my spanish, or missing my friends here, or my new lifestyle, or the general environment of just living. ill miss so many places i go to and so many people who i just may never see again. and its just not fair. this experience fucks with you. more than i ever imagined. I DONT KNOW WHERE I BELONG. its just made me see that i can love so many different things and places and people which makes this all harder. and how much time i havent spent doing what i truly wanted. i just want to see the world and meet new people and just live. but you cant unless you have money and to have money u have to go to school but by the time u get past all that, forget it, youve run out of time. i hate society. i just wanna do what i want, its my life damnit. also why havent we perfected teleportation yet? god but i cant bitch because honestly the only reason i even know what im missing is cause ive had the great fortune to get to experience so much. what a brat i am. the point is, culture shock is the worst thing ever (sorry steph). i shoulve been warned i would be so fucking lost at the end of this.

anyways, im not going to think about that any more, time to actually do hw. great.

con todo mi amor de chile. nos vemos pronto!